Facebook is extremely popular and one can basically document every little detail about their personal life. One option which I found very interesting is the ability to publicly proclaim your relationship status which could be either single, in a relationship, married, divorced, widowed, it’s complicated, in an open relationship, and the new ones: in a civil union and in a domestic partnership. When people change their initial status from single to in a relationship, usually there is a lot of fuss among Facebook friends and people are able to comment or like the status that announces the new union of two people. Same goes for any sudden change in relationship status from what you previously had set.
Although changing your relationship status may seem as completely liberal as you have the option to change it anytime you want, one must be aware that any change you make is publicized on your friend’s news feed and documented on your profile. People do the error of not recognizing the fact that every independent move you make is being documented on Facebook and people (your FB friends or others) are watching. I have heard of stories where relationship drama arises from Facebook and cause the termination of these romantic unions among people, even lead them to extreme measures like blocking that once important person in your life.
The first problem that Facebook creates in relationships and is the most visible is an unchanged relationship status or not confirming the request to acknowledge the credibility of their relationship. “Why haven’t you changed your relationship status to ‘in a relationship’? Why does it still say you are single?”, one of the individuals in a new found relationship may complain to their partner. This can create a lot of drama and raise suspicion of possible unfaithful acts by the individual who has not changed their relationship status. The other person may be thinking that their bf/gf are talking to other people and that is why they don’t want to publicly announce that they are off the market. Another possible claim could be that the person doesn’t want anyone to know who they are going out with because that could harm their reputation or popularity in an institution like school or just be looked down upon by friends or family.
So what happens when both individuals do change their relationship status to “in a relationship”? Well there is no more drama until one of the individuals may accidently delete or hide the section where it states who you are in a relationship with. World War III may begin. The other person who didn’t change their relationship status could misinterpret what their other half has done and thus believe that that person is breaking up with them. Now a side note regarding break-ups… I don’t know why people even think about breaking up through Facebook. They see this social networking site as another medium for breaking up, one that does not require the intimidation that face-to-face interaction gives a person especially when they are afraid of the other person’s reaction. I know some people send a personal message through Facebook saying they are over, or they tell them through the chat option in this site. The worst way to break up on Facebook, however, is the intentional removal of “in a relationship” label or the change of status back to “single”. Unfortunately, some individuals do this or use another form of technology like texting to cower behind while they break the news to the other person.
Aside from the relationship status label on Facebook, problems within relationships also arise from the documentation of the activity of users. I am speaking of status updates, wall posts, commenting back, or simply “like”-ing another person’s status. I had a previous bad experience with Facebook that almost led to the termination of my romantic relationship. One cannot manipulate what other people post on your wall (unless you block wall posts) and especially if your friends receive on their news feed that someone has posted something to your wall. The content whether it is intentionally meant to be interpreted in a flirtatious way or just as a joke, can lead to you having problems of jealousy or mistrust with your significant other, especially if the person who posted the comment is of the opposite sex. Even your own status updates where you may post something that is meant to be a joke or allow people to assume there is something wrong in your relationship based on what you wrote, your love may feel offended or confront you which will lead to a possible break up. Having a non-stop conversation with another person of the opposite sex whether it is flirtatious or not is visible, can cause your other to begin suspecting something is going on between you and the other person whom you are having a long conversation with. “Like”-ing a comment or a certain page can also cause problems. This specifically happened to me because I remember I liked one of my ex-crushes’ post that spoke about not forgetting certain loves and my bf saw it on his news feed. He assumed that something was still going on or that I still keep memories alive which led to a heated argument.
People in a relationship need to keep in mind that Facebook is a technology that can cause good but also bad because every move we make leaves traces, and everything is publicized. Anything posted on this social networking site is able to be seen by as many people as you have friends and possibly others, therefore if not careful with what you are saying, the content you provided can become evidence that can be used against you when you get into an argument with your significant other. Facebook can be a place to socialize and become yourself, but it is also a tool that your bf/gf can use to either manipulate or check up on you in terms of being honest or faithful about your actions. So be very careful on any social networking site or others where it is so public because what may seem as another social interacting and expanding network tool, can become a tracking device and your worst enemy.
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